There are so many things I'm feeling, things I want to say and questions that I have to ask. However, I'm scared to do so. I did ask back in November if we would be traveling in December. I knew before I asked what the answer would be but I asked anyway. Now, I don't want to ask my questions or say my thoughts out loud for fear of the outcome.
There are many people who are praying for the children at the center, our children, to be able to come home with us. It's great that is comforting to some. For those that know me, God has not been a part of my life for many years. I used to pray when I was younger, now it's seems pointless. I prayed many years for only one thing, after this disappointment I began to feel God has no control over the things that happen. Others may disagree and that's okay but this is how I feel.
I do believe we are tested in life and this has been a difficult test for Chris and I. We thank you for your prayers and thoughts. The date of March 1st has come up in speaking with our agency. We hope to know more news then or to know at least what is our next step. Until then this is all I know. My heart breaks that Nieman can't be with us at Christmas. It breaks more thinking of the what ifs so I try not to dwell on the what ifs. When and if we have news this will be the first place to look.
PS: Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Go UC. We are Orange Bowl bound. Welcome to Miami.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
3 comments:
My heart breaks with yours. I hurt every time you guys get bad news. I know that I've only known you guys about 10 months but I most definitely have come to think of you as close friends and I hate when my friends are hurting. I understand your feelings on the God situation because I have had my ups and downs with him. But in whatever form you want to think of it as...I am praying and thinking about you guys and little Nieman. He deserves to be home with his family more than any little kid I know!!!
Of course, my heart is heavy too with the main substance of your post. I wanted to respond to the more superficial part-the Orange Bowl! I wondered if you are actually going. My brother is a huge VT fan, so we'll be there!
I echo the words of your post. My main source of comfort is knowing that there is at least one other person who knows what i'm going through, who knows my disappointment, and who will one day share the joy that i will also.
Post a Comment